Lucy: “I literally just got off the phone with Mike, I don’t know why he didn’t just hand you the phone.”
Prof: “Oh … yeah. [Pause.] I’m in the bathroom.”
L: “You are right now?”
P: “Uh huh.”
L: “You … Well you can … finish … and call me back later.”
P: “Naw, that’s ok. [Pause.] I already washed my hands.”
– Awkward laugh (from me). –
P: “Fundo’s in here pooping.”
L: “Oh man, I love interviews with you.”
P: “Are you recording this right now?”
P: “Hold on, let me put the phone in the stall.”
L: “Oh no no no, you don’t have to do that.”
– Muffled sounds, some swearing, and something about paper towels. –
P: “Is this live?”
L: “No, it’s not live.”
P: “Ok. I have to get him some paper towels. He’s in there … you know … pooping.”
L: “Thanks for narrating everything to me, but it’s okay, I don’t need to know.”
P: “We’re in some place in Wisconsin and there was some boy in here earlier looking at me all weird.”
L: “That’s … awkward.”
P: “Yeah. I think Fundo’s wiping now.”
L: “Ok. Cool. Well let’s talk about something else.”
P: “Ok, yeah, sure!”
This was the beginning of my conversation with Minneapolis native Jake Anderson, also known as Prof, the ridiculous yet lovable Stophouse Group rapper. I’ve been a fan of Prof’s for quite some time now, and had the pleasure of meeting and interviewing him numerous times. Each time is not only memorable, but presents a situation like above. It may be awkward for the reader, but I find it humorous and wouldn’t expect anything less.
Beings I’ve interviewed Prof several times, I wanted to keep it interesting. So I took to Twitter (like any responsible journalist would) to ask some of my followers for fun questions. None of them made it in to the final article for 605 Magazine, but they are still entertaining, and I still want you to read them. (But I wouldn’t suggest you read it aloud to your kids.)
Drew – Last Word – wanted me to ask you about your cookie jar collection.
Drew as in @LastWordMPLS?
Yeah. I wasn’t sure if that was an inside joke or not …
No, let me answer that. It’s a stupid question, it’s not an inside joke, next. [Laughs.]
Hunkle [Stophouse merch hustler] wants to know why you’re always such a bitch and wake him up when he’s napping.
[Laughs.] I don’t know. That dude’s always napping. Tell him to quit napping and I won’t wake him up. He’s always lying around the house sleeping, like during the day. So whatever.
If you were an animal, which animal would you be?
Uh, you know, I don’t know. Let me ask. Hey guys, if I was an animal what animal would I be? [Background discussion.] P is for pelican. I would not be a pelican, though. Maybe if it had a huge beer belly. [More discussion.] Fundo said I would be a bald eagle, but with a walrus dick. Those things are huge! Have you seen that online, when the walrus sucks it’s own dick?
No, I haven’t.
Look it up! It’s on YouTube. It’s nature … It’s just nature.
You can’t just make an animal up. That’s not a real animal. That doesn’t count.
Well. I don’t know. Fundo’s just like ‘Well whatever animal has a big ass dick.’ I don’t know what animal I’d be, man. Fundo would be … a stork. He’d be a stork that just shits himself. Like he’d be a stork with dirty feathers, but only on the bottom half. Yeah. Maybe I’d be a hyena. I don’t know.
Which person in the Stophouse group do you hate to share a hotel room with the most?
[Laughs.] I think you know the answer to that one. I have to go with DJ Fundo. He sucks. I’m a lighter sleeper than he is and he falls asleep with the TV blaring. He brings his own DJ on tour with him and sets it up in the corner to play music while he falls asleep. He needs all types of stimulation, and I don’t want that.
You should buy earplugs.
Yeah, I should. I would rather just have him not have the TV on, and the lights on and everything. And he falls asleep before I do; so then I get up and shut everything off. And then he starts smelling. I mean snoring! [Laughs.] You know, he’s always smelling, but then he starts snoring super loud. Last night I couldn’t go to bed because he was snoring so loud, so I kept a pillow with me and just hit him and that didn’t work. So I had to get up, put both my hands underneath him, and roll him over. [Pause.] Just normal stuff. Rap life.
Who’s your favorite Jersey Shore character and why?
Probably Pauly D. That dude is actually funny. His hair is really weird, though. I think he’s actually kind of smart and funny, like he could chill with some of my friends, but the only thing that freaks me out is that he wears his hair like that. I think Vinny is kind of normal. I think the Situation is kind of funny but he’s starting to get a huge ego. Ronnie is just a dumbass. He is just so dumb.
If you could work with one artist in any genre, dead or alive, who would it be?
Damn. That’s way too much. Umm, it would probably be someone alive right now. Dead people suck. Like, you know, people would think Tupac and Biggie or whatever, but I’d like to do a song with Cee Lo. Maybe Eminem, I don’t know if that’s kind of cliché or whatever. Lil’ Wayne. Andre 3000.
Anyone outside the rap genre?
Umm yeah! I would love to do weird shit, like a track with Taylor Swift. Like just have her do a normal ass song like ‘you’re my boy’ type country love song, then I would come in and talk about tits and ass. That would be funny. I’d maybe do a song with the Jonas Brothers. I haven’t really thought about it. I love all the genres.
Pick up the March issue of 605 Magazine to read more about Prof’s upcoming tours, new music, and more.
Check him out with Steddy P, Midwest Blessed, and ChAtte.r.boxXx at Skelly’s Pub on March 5. Doors are at 9 pm at tickets are $8. Visit the Collective Efforts Union website to purchase tickets or get more information.
Visit Stophouse Group’s website for free music, and go follow their amazing people on Twitter.